We Didn't Know
by bookdiva
Summary: After solving Lauren's case, Bones goes to talk to Chris, the pilot. Review if you want to see a second chapter where Booth talks to him and realizes what he is doing. Please lots of reviews!
1. Chapter 1

"Chris?"

The helicopter pilot turned around with surprised eyes.

"Dr. Brennan? What are you doing here?"

_That is a great question. What are you doing here? _Temperance asked herself.

"We—we closed Lauren's case and I thought that you—that she—that you deserved the answers." He looked even more surprised. "She was hit by a car, Chris. She wasn't murdered. I think that the person who ran her over didn't want to deal with it so they buried her in the park."

Tears filled the man's eyes, and he said,

"She—she was hit? By a car?"

"Yes," she replied quietly.

"Why—um…why are you here?" he asked after a moment. "To tell me, I mean. It doesn't seem like that's part of your job description." He tried for a smile, but she saw that it wasn't real.

"You deserved to know, and I know that she would have wanted you to know," she replied. Taking a deep breath, she continued, "She and I—we are…we're very similar. I have a past that I—that I never…never talk about and its hard—very hard—for me to tell you this, but also like her, I have regrets. I am so like her, it…it frightens me. We are both so logical—we depend on the facts to keep us safe from pain. We both have no one outside of work who would notice our departure from this earth, and no one who would push for justice on our behalf." Tears were now streaming down her face and she cursed herself for being so weak; but she had to continue because he _deserved _to know.

"Dr. Brennan—" he tried to cut in, but she just kept going.

"No, you deserve to know. You _deserve _to know." Her voice was determined. "It wasn't that she didn't love you—she _always_ loved you—it was that she was afraid of what that love would do to her. She was afraid that she was incapable of love and she had to protect you from the pain she could cause you. She didn't know that by saying no she was hurting you worse. She didn't know anyone could love her like that. She didn't know."

"How—how can you know that Dr. Brennan?" he asked. She looked up into his eyes, and all doubt about feelings being in the eyes was erased. She saw through his outward disbelief to the hope and deep sadness shining in his eyes. It gave her the strength to go on—to tell him the truth.

"Because I am her; we might as well be the same person. I know, intellectually speaking, that what I have just told you is a falsehood. But metaphorically? Metaphorically I know that we truly are the same person."

The tears again made their way down her cheeks, but this time she just let them flow.

"You sound exactly like her you know, turning everything back to logic."

He smiled at her, and she smiled back through her tears.

"I can tell you that she regretted not giving you a chance to prove her wrong," she said, "because I have the same regret. Do you remember my partner?"

"The FBI Agent?"he asked.

"Yeah. He always tried to get me to believe in love, but I always told him that love didn't exist—that I couldn't believe in love. All of my factual evidence pointed toward this conclusion, but he said that love wasn't—couldn't be—logical. He and I have always been close. Well, that's not what I meant. He was my everything Chris. One night, he told me that he wanted more; that he had always known that I was the one. He asked me to take the chance. But I wasn't ready and I—I said no." Her voice broke. "I left and he left and while I was gone…while I was gone, I started to realize what he—I began to believe. He had told me that love was forever; he promised me 30 or 40 or 50 years. I came back thinking I could have that—believing I _had_ that. When I came back…" she trailed off.

"When you came back…?" he encouraged her. She had seemed to run out of strength to continue.

"When I came back, he said that he had found someone else and that he—that he loved _her _now. I never believed in love because I thought it to be interim. Now that I believe—and I know there's no going back from that belief—I ran into what I was afraid of in the first place. And if I just hadn't been afraid—if I had said yes instead of no—then I wouldn't be living like this. I wouldn't have the regrets that I do. That is how I know what she was thinking, what she was regretting, and what she would have wanted."

They were both silent for a long time before he spoke,

"Thank you Dr. Brennan. What you did…I'll never forget it. And thanks to you, I'll never forget Lauren. Remembering her doesn't have to hurt anymore."

"That was my job," she replied trying to grasp what professionalism she had left. She turned to walk away, but he reached out and grabbed her shoulder.

"No, it wasn't. This went above and beyond your duty. I know it wasn't easy for you, and I—thank you. Thank you so much Dr. Brennan."

"We didn't know. We didn't know that love was worth it. We didn't know we were hurting you. We didn't know."

"I know," he replied. He released her arm and she walked back to her car and drove back to the empty Jeffersonian to immerse herself in her work. She knew that soon she would end up just like Lauren, if she wasn't already.


	2. Chapter 2

As he watched the broken doctor walk away, he couldn't help but marvel at her strength. For all the ways she was like Lauren, she had an inner strength that Lauren hadn't.

"You know, I think she's going to be ok. She's just like you would have been. I understand now; it was never that you didn't love me; you were just scared of that love. Just like Dr. Brennan said. If you'd lived, would you have come to the same conclusion that she did?" He knew she couldn't answer him, but talking to her helped him think. "Lauren, I'm not going to let him make this mistake. They have the chance that we never had. I can't let him waste that."

With that thought heavy on his mind, he went and put his gear into his locker, and called Frank.

"Hey, Frank. Can you come in and cover my shift for me? I have a very important appointment that can't wait." He listened to the man's response and smiled. "I know it's unusual of me to ask…thank you!"

Five minutes later, after letting his supervisor know that Frank was filling in and showing Frank the schedule, Chris was on his way to the Hoover building. Arriving, he parked in visitor parking and walked in, stopping at the secretary's desk.

"Hello, may I help you?" asked the lady behind the counter.

"Yes, I'm here to see an Agent Seeley Booth," Chris said.

"Do you have an appointment Mr. …?"

"Chris. And no, I do not have an appointment. Please just let him know that a friend of Dr. Brennan's is here and would like to speak to him." He smiled at the lady.

"Of course, sir. If you'll have a seat over there, I'll page him and see if he has time for you."

"Thank you ma'am," Chris said and made his way over to the chairs.

The secretary picked up the phone and Chris heard a one-sided conversation.

"Agent Booth, there's someone here to see you…no they don't have an appointment. They said they're a friend of Dr. Brennan's and…no, not Angela. It's a man…Chris he said….ok. I'll send him up." She placed the phone back on its cradle and smiled at him.

"Here you go," she said handing Chris a visitor's tag. "Agent Booth will be more than happy to talk to you."

"Thank you again ma'am."

He took the badge, got in the elevator, and contemplated how he was going to proceed. If he was honest, he really hadn't thought this through, and he had no idea what he was going to say once he reached Agent Booth's offices. He'd never been the logical one; Lauren had all the logic he'd ever needed. Thinking of her, he smiled.

"Sure could use your logic now Lauren," he whispered. "What can I say to make him see what he is throwing away? How can I help Dr. Brennan? After all she's done, and all the ways I suspect she's grown, she deserves the happiness I'm sure only he can give her."

He felt calmer, and suddenly, he knew what he was going to say. When the elevator doors dinged, he smiled and walked towards Agent Booth's office with a new confidence.


	3. Chapter 3

The ringing phone startled Booth out of his thoughts.

"Booth," he said answering it.

"Agent Booth, there's someone here to see you," the downstairs secretary said.

"Did they have an appointment?" he asked in surprise. _I thought I had a free schedule today…_

"No, they don't have an appointment. They said they're a friend of D. Brennan's…"

_Oh no! Not Angela. I should have known that she'd want to talk to me after last week. But I really didn't think she'd tell her about it…_

"Is it Angela?" he asked nervously.

_That would be just what I need today, to get yelled at by an angry, pregnant artist. Great. _

"No, not Angela. It's a man…"

"A man? Who? What was his name?" he asked angrily.

_A man! So she's moved on already? Why does that bother me? Whoa…I should be relieved that she's moved on, I know that, but…_

"Chris, he said…"

_Chris…Chris…why does that sound familiar…Chris…has she mentioned him before?_

"Um…yeah. That's fine. I have a few minutes." He had control of his tone again and was calm and collected.

"Ok. I'll send him up."

_Chris…why does that name sound so familiar? _

Booth began to feel uneasy, but he was unsure as to why. Just because this Chris was a friend of Bones' it didn't mean he was here to talk about her. For all he knew, Chris had just used Bones' name to get in without an appointment. There was a knock on his door and before he had spoken to grant entrance, the door was opened to reveal a tall, bald man that Booth recognized immediately.

"Chris Markham? From the Lauren Eames case, right? What do you need? Anything I can help you with?" He was relieved, undeniably so, that it was him. He couldn't be in a…relationship with her. But Booth was still curious as to why he would say that he was a friend of Bones'.

"I don't think so Agent Booth. It's more a matter of how I can help you. You see, you and I are very similar, too similar for my liking. I wanted to offer you a perspective that you may not have considered before."

_Okaaaay…? _Booth thought. Aloud he said,

"What are you…never mind. Could you explain how you know my partner? Other than the case we just worked. Were you acquainted with her before the case? I know Bones wouldn't approve of someone who barely knows her saying that they're her friend."

"I can honestly say, Agent Booth, that I know her better than anyone," Chris replied in an even tone.

Booth bristled a little at this statement and wondered at its underlying meanings.

"So you've known her for…how long, exactly?" he asked hesitantly.

"I have known the good doctor for _exactly _three weeks," he stated cheerily.

Booth was surprised and relieved. He laughed.

"Then you don't know her," he said. "There is so much to her that you can't possibly know her in three weeks' time. She's much too complicated." There was an edge of bitterness in his tone.

"I know her better than you do, if I may say so. I don't think she's all that complex."

Now Booth was shocked. Who was this man to talk about his partner like that?

"Look Agent Booth, I didn't come here to insult you," Chris continued when he say Booth's face. "I just…I feel like I owe her so much. I know I can never repay her for what she did—what she put herself through—but I sure intend to try. I thought that coming here to at least let you know what's going on would be the kindest thing I could do for her."

"Lauren?" Booth asked confused.

Chris smiled, shook his head, and chuckled a little.

"No, not Lauren, but someone very similar to her." He looked up and met Booth's curious eyes. "Dr. Brennan. I owe her so much."

"Look," Booth said, "that's nice and all, but why don't you just send her some flowers, or a nice thank you note? She's really not all that fond of contact with a victim's…family after a case is closed."

"Again, how little you know her."

_Who does this guy think he is? _Booth wondered. He was getting angry.

"Listen, Chris," he began.

"No. I know what I'm talking about," Chris said. "I'm sorry for how this is coming out, Agent Booth, but Lauren was always the logic and strategy of our partnership. I was always the passion. I don't really plan things through before I do them." Booth smiled a little. _That sounds familiar, _he thought. "This afternoon, she came and visited me. She wanted to let me know that you'd closed the case and that Lauren…" he struggled for a moment, "that she'd been hit by a car. Agent Booth, I have never seen a more broken woman. She was convinced that she was Lauren. I mean, she knew logically that she's not. But she kept saying 'we didn't know' and she was crying and…"

Booth tried to digest everything the man was saying, and for a moment, it was silent in his office.

_Bones is still over identifying with the victim. But she was crying in front of a stranger?_

His thoughts were interrupted by Chris's voice again.

"She told me about your relationship," he said softly and Booth looked up at him startled. "She told me that she knows that Lauren regretted not giving me a chance because she has the same regrets. I saw it in her eyes, Agent Booth, that she'd found the strength to believe in love. She had it. You did what I never could. Why are you throwing that away?"

Booth didn't know what to say. He'd never seen a more broken man, and Chris wasn't even trying.

"She said that, in a way, she was glad she missed her chance." Booth still couldn't believe his ears. "She said that she said no because she was afraid of love; she didn't believe that it could last the way you said it did."

"I tried to prove it to her," Booth argued. "I showed her for six years. Six years! She never wanted it—she never accepted it. What was I suppose to do? Wait for her for 30 or 40 or 50 years?"

"Isn't that what you promised her?" Chris asked quietly. Booth fell silent. "Listen, I loved Lauren, just like you love Dr. Brennan. I knew her for thirteen years, and do you know how many women I dated in that time? Zero. Do you know how many men she dated? Zero. She didn't believe in love, and I dedicated my life to proving her wrong. I never got what I wanted most, but I don't regret a second that I spent with her. Just friendship with her was better than a romantic relationship with anyone else." He continued softly, "She came back from wherever it was that she went ready to risk giving you her heart. She believed in love and she was ready to face her fears. In her words she 'ran into' what she was avoiding in the first place."

"That love didn't last and she'd…she'd taken a risk on something that wasn't—something that wasn't real?"

"Yes. And you know what the worst part is? She doesn't blame you," Chris said. "She sincerely wants you to be happy even if it literally kills her."

Booth couldn't think of anything to say.

"I'm sorry if I came across a little harsh, Agent Booth. I'm the passion, you'll remember. I just wanted you to see that you have what I always wanted. I don't want to see you throw that away." He moved toward the door. "Thank you for your time Agent Booth."

And he was gone. Booth fell back into his chair, now left alone with his thoughts, and a nagging feeling of loneliness.


End file.
